Pinky Goes Camping

Pinky Goes Camping by Gary Benton
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My old buddy, Bubba, and I had arrived at our fishing site very late the night before. I remember the trip to the campsite well because most of the floorboard of his truck was rusted out so I had to ride with my feet on the dash. Once we got there, we put the tents up and went straight to bed.

Both Bubba and I are military vets so I’ve never had to worry when camping with him. We both spent years in the service and camping out was not a big deal. We didn’t really need much to get by on and we had a lot more gear with us than Uncle Sam ever issued for us in the woods. The way I figure it, a big tough vet should be able to take care of himself in the woods.

Morning dawned chilly, windy, and with a threat of rain. Dark black clouds were moving overhead as I started the fire. Our morning coffee was brewing in a matter of minutes of my waking up. I always started the fire in the mornings because Bubba was a complete idiot when it came to fire craft. His idea of starting a fire was a gallon of charcoal lighter fluid and a box of blazing matches. So, once his eyebrows and hair grew back, I just took over the task.

“Hey, Bubba! You going to sleep all day in there?” I yelled at the man as I filled my coffee cup.
“I jess might, why?” Came a groaning response.
“I thought you wanted to fish! Come on, Bubba, let’s go fishing!”
“Ok, let me dress.” Came a weak reply from the tent.

Bubba exited the tent five minutes later, but as he started to walk toward the campfire he suddenly stopped. I then noticed him slowly backing up, with his left hand behind his back. Now, I am not the brightest lure in the tackle box, but I knew right off he was hiding something from me. And, that fact made me determined to find out what it was.

“Hey, Bubba, what are you hiding behind your back?” I asked with a crooked smile.
“Nothin’, nothin’ at all.” While he spoke clearly enough, he did not make eye contact.

Quickly jumping up, I chased Bubba around and around his tent until he finally dropped what he had been hiding. Now, this is hard to believe, but it was a bright pink teddy bear! As soon as I saw the bear, I started chasing him once more and we soon knocked his weak standing tent over.

“Bubba, I don’t believe this!” I said between gasps for air as I laughed.
“Shut up, Gary!” Bubba had assumed a very threatening stance and looked very angry.

“Are you sleeping with a teddy bear? Bubba, I never knew you had a bedmate. Does Maude know you got a girlfriend?” I said all of this in the same voice kids use in school, when they tease a kid. Y’all can remember those days and how varying the voice tone is.

“You keep Maude outta this! You know my wife hain’t got nothin’ to do with all of this. You quit a-teasin’ me too, a-fore a get mad at ya!” As Bubba screamed, I was fascinated that a small piece of chicken from last nights dinner was still stuck between his two front upper teeth.

“Ok, Bubba, I’ll quit. But, Pinky there is not going on our fishin’ trip this mornin’. Besides that I ain’t got but two life vests although I suspect she would float a bit!” I just could not let this issue go, it was too good.

At that exact moment a bright flash of lightening filled the air, quickly followed by the loud report of thunder. Raindrops began to fall, slowly at first then picking up the tempo. Bubba and I ran to the nearest standing tent, which was mine. Once we got inside, I zipped the door and the windows closed. It appeared we would be there for a while.

I looked over at Bubba and noticed him looking at me like a nervous virgin bride on her wedding night. He was all cowed up in the far corner of the tent. It was then I noticed he was wearing his long underwear, boots, and ball cap. I hadn’t noticed it before because of the excitement of the chase. It took all I had to suppress a laugh because he had his “Pinky” in his right hand on his lap. I just shook my head and leaned back on my sleeping bag.

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