A Milking Fool

A Milking Fool by Gary Benton
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Maude looked down at Bubba Lee sleeping and realized how deep her love was for him. Oh, they had their fights like most couples, but overall they got along fine. Besides, she would never leave him now, because it would take too long to train another man. Bubba was jus’ like she wanted him to be, easy goin’, polite, and she knew all his faults. Now, that was not to say Bubba didn’t have any good traits, ‘cause he did. But, of course, she never pointed those out to ‘em or else he’d get a big head.

She picked up her housecoat, slipped into her pink rabbit house shoes, and then said, “Bubba! Ya need to get up and feed them critters. I can heah the cow too. She needs milkin’ too. Ya ain’t goin’ deer huntin’ till yer chores are all done.”

“Wha..wha..what time is it Maude?” Bubba asked as he sat up and rubbed the sleep from his tired eyes. “It’s normal time Bubba Lee. Now, get up and get dressed. Them critters shouldn’t have to wait all day on a lazy man.” With that said, she turned and made her way down the hall of their doublewide mobile home. She would start the coffee, smoke a cigarette, and listen to the morning news on the portable radio she had on the kitchen windowsill.

Bubba slowly got out of bed, donned his bib-overalls, and put his ever-present ball cap on. The cap, a hot neon pink, advertised Lort’s feedlot and bridle gowns. His boots were last, and he took his time to ensure he laced them properly. He still laced them like the army had taught him to, right lace over the left. Bubba even tucked the ends of the laces in his boot tops. Old habits were hard to break, not that he even tried.

Making his way into the small kitchen, Bubba sat down on one of the old chairs at the table. The legs wobbled and a loud snap was heard as he moved to get comfortable. It was just a little before five in the morning and so far a typical morning for Bubba and Maude. His coffee was strong and hot, just as he liked it.

“Bubba, when ya finish the milkin’ and the feedin’, oh, and getting’ me some fire wood, we need to go to town this mornin’.” Maude said with a big smile. Bubba put his coffee cup down, turned to looked at Maude, and said, “Why? We was jus’ there a month ago and ya know I want to do some deer huntin’.” “I need to pick up some thangs and ya can hold off on the hutin’ fer a few hours too.”

Bubba, who hated to have his routine changed and was not very understanding, said, “Maude, when we went to town before, why didn’t ya get all the thangs ya needed then?” Well, Maude had been married to the man for over twenty-five years and she knew where this conversation was heading, “Bubba. Don’t ya pay no never mind ‘bout why I need to go to town. I never ask ya fer much, cept somethin’ fer the house now and then.”

Mumbling to himself, Bubba stood, finished off his coffee and without a word left the mobile home. He was still wondering about Maude as he entered the barn and started gathering up his feed for the critters. Picking up his chicken feed bucket, he moved out into the barnyard and started throwing corn for the chickens.

“Dang woman. Why does she need to go to town today? I got better thangs to do than to wonder ‘round the store while she looks at the candles and smells the perfumes. I need to get that big twelve pointer over by old man Cisco’s place.” He was not aware he was not thinking his words, but speaking them. “Bubba Lee! I done tolt ya not to worry ‘bout the why I have to go to town!” Maude yelled from the open kitchen widow. “Okay!” He yelled back as he took his anger out on the rooster by kicking a large rock toward the brown bird. As the rooster made noises and flew away, Bubba turned and made his way back into the barn. Iffen I hurry this, I can still get a couple hours of huntin’ in this evenin’

He put the milk pail under the cows udder, positioned the three legged stool, made sure there was feed for her, and then reached down to start milking. He had just touched her when she gave a loud moo and kicked. Bubba, still mad at Maude and preoccupied, never saw the hoof that knocked him from the stool. He was surprised by a sudden force striking him, discovered himself falling, and felt himself land on the straw packed floor . . . hard. After a few minutes, Bubba attempted to stand, but the world suddenly started turning gray. The gray faded into black and then into….nothing. Bubba was out.

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